My village is my family and friends, extended and whatnot. As I got older I noticed that I should worry less about how I feel and focus on how I project myself to others (they really will disagree cause they want me to "feel" yet they told me to always squish my feelings away). Don't get me wrong I know they did the best with me that they could. With such a great divide on age who could really expect them to get it right with me, or even be able to hear my screams for help. I am sweet because I surround myself with people that deserve that of me, I hurt when those closest to me are hurt, I am strong because those that I care for need someone to stand for them.
Ok now that I am getting to the meat and potatoes of this post. I have had a hard time learning to love and accept myself. I always thought I did but that was not really what it was supposed to be. Yes I said it I put it out there for all of you to read. It is hard for me to look at myself in the mirror and I mean truly look at myself in the mirror and tell myself that I love myself. I learned that when I was with my best friend... Him and I were talking about some very delicate subjects and wanted me to do that. I could not... I am talking to the point that I pulled away and started to cry.
It is now a focus point on my recovery. You need to make sure you get a sense of who you are. I am not saying that it is easy because it is not by any means. I am thankful for my girlfriends that accept me with all the cracks that are part of me. You all (an you know who you are) help make me whole. I need to find the acceptance in who I am.
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